My Little Sister Does London

I moved to Toronto. My little sister couldn’t join me but she decided that London is closer to Toronto than Craiova. I feel like she is breathing in my neck, especially that she lives twenty minutes away from Heathrow Airport. If she wants to come over one day, she can actually be here in six hours! So far and yet so close! But of course, having her over is always a pleasure.

She likes London but she has all kinds of health problems. Not that there is an issue about it. Nooo! The worst the health problem is, the better she feels. Her dream is to have a great disease, without cure so that she can give us a loud: I told you sooooo! Meanwhile, God, exhausted after all the real problems Earth is facing lately: earthquakes, floods, pollution, wars, recession etc, takes some breaks from time to time and makes fun of my sister. Now he gives her a huge pimple and she thinks it is skin cancer, now he makes her tonsils hurt and she thinks it is throat cancer, now he gives her a bad cough so she thinks her throat cancer got worse, now he gives her a backache and she doesn’t know what this is but she is sure it is really serious. Above all that, she lost a nail because she got a finger caught in the door of the car. You cannot imagine what a tragedy that was. She cried all over Skype, Yahoo Messenger and Facebook, I had to watch the finger in the webcam for a few hours and the family in Romania was alerted.

Now she has the chicken pox. What is surprising is that nobody has it at work or in the building she lives in. Well, not yet, at least. They will all get it soon. Thanks to my little sister. Chicken pox doesn’t really look nice on her but she is pretty anyway. Her boyfriend says so, not me. I find her extremely ugly. We all pray to God she won’t scratch too much and she won’t die, because it is ridiculous to have monthly check-ups for all types of cancer and in the end, to die because of chicken pox. A very severe and rare form of chicken pox but still...

 I hope chicken pox won't give her high fever either, because when she has high fever she doesn’t understand the surroundings anymore. One morning, she had to take the train to be somewhere, so she went to Victoria Station. She went up and down the street where the station used to be. No station, what so ever. My sister was very puzzled. She was checking the map, walking the street again…nothing. The station was gone. After about half an hour of looking she decided to ask somebody: “Hi! Can you please tell me where Victoria Station is?”. The guy looked at her for a few seconds and then replied, without judging: “It is right behind you, love!” Oh, shoot! She looked all over the street but she didn’t think of turning around! The fever really makes her lose her way around! It’s ok! All is well when ends well.

Probably the most interesting thing my sister is doing in London, is an Indian guy. Kind of handsome, exotic type, with Kama Sutra in his genes.  Can you ask for more? Of course, I don’t understand why on Earth they have their own tree to sit under? My sister says it is romantic but she is full of crap when it comes to romance. They have a very passionate relationship. They are seeing eachother for about two months, maybe. I am not sure, my math is really bad. During all this time, my sister thought he died only twice. But she had really strong, solid reasons to believe this. First time, he went to India and after both of them checked in on his Iphone at Heathrow Airport Terminal 4, she made him promise he will check in at Mumbay Airport as well, so that she knows the plane didn’t crash. He didn’t check in, so she was absolutely sure the plane crashed. His phone was also out of order for like 12 hours. A phone can be out of order only if the plane crashed, according to my sister's beliefs on how the cell phones work. She couldn’t see another reason. After 12 hours of torture he called. Apparently, he forgot to activate his roaming and then he got home and fell asleep after the long flight. These reasons were so non-tragic and so normal that my sister needed some time to accept them. A boyfriend disappeared in a plane crash is way more romantic than a boyfriend that forgets to activate the roaming service and the first thing he does when landing after a long flight is to rest and not to call her.

Few days later they were talking on the phone. They talked for a few minutes, then silence. Of course, any normal person would have thought that maybe the line cut off or the guy fell asleep or something. Not my sister. She told me on Skype right away: “I think he is dead again. He was just telling me he has a terrible headache. So I am sure he had a stroke. He is dead. This time, he is really, really dead!” There was no way I could bring her back to reality, like maybe he fell asleep. Actually that got her mad: “He’d better had a stroke than falling asleep while talking to me! This is rude!” Right! While a stroke is very polite to have while talking to someone on the phone. Anyway, the mystery was cleared few hours later, when he woke up. When he woke up from a deep sleep not from death! Apparently, before calling my sister, he had a wild party with some friends. The party involved alcohol. Alcohol makes you fall asleep. Simple as that!

But now my little sister is fine. I mean, she has chicken pox, a very severe and rare form of chicken pox but I am pretty sure she will survive. I wonder what cruel disease she will get after this. Maybe indigestion? A very severe form of indigestion, of course. We are talking about my little sister here! Even the common diseases are not common when she has them! She only gets the unique, very dangerous forms of the common diseases.